Help, I'm Alive
by Voltara
Summary: Based off the first game. What happened to Anthony after he died? What was going through his mind when he met Jackie? Oneshot.


Anthony's mind is in pieces. He does not tell anyone and he gives no sign. His mind is shattered into thousands of pieces, a puzzle that is next to impossible to reassemble.

He thinks back to the many events that destroyed him. Maybe it was from being shelled too often, maybe it was from being around too much death, or maybe it was when he brought the Darkness into his family.

It was his fault Jackie was the host. It was his fault all of this had happened. That guilt ate away at an already deteriorating mind.

The Darkness whispered to him, surrounded him in a dark shroud, choked him. It frightened him, but he would never admit that. His soul was now its property, placed him in this warped world, and he took everyone down with him. He could not forgive himself for it. What kind of person does that to their family? To their friends? A truly wretched soul.

He stayed down in the church basement some days, listening to the moans of the wounded. Other days, he traveled through the tunnels, shaking and terrified until he came back out to the village.

There are days when he would lead the boys against the Hun over in the Hills. They always failed and have to pull back. And it's all Anthony's fault.

Then Jackie came and Anthony did all he could to help the young host. _If I can do this for him, than maybe I can be forgiven._

Anthony destroyed many things during his lifetime and those sins all came back to him in a great tidal wave. The Darkness tortured him for it, but it made everyone else's fate so much worse than his. He wanted to trade places with all of them if he could. If he could spare them of the Hell they have been dropped in then he would finally find peace.

He's reminded of the day when the Darkness claimed his family as its own. It would now choose a host from his bloodline. _I'm so sorry I did this to you..._

He muddled with forces far out of his control and now he and everyone around him must pay for his mistakes. If he only knew what he was getting himself into, he would have stopped when he had a chance. But no, he went ahead with it. _Stupid fool._

Jackie and him made it to the castle but then Jackie was pinned inside the tank. Anthony told him. "Be right back. Don't go away on me." And left to see what he could do for Jackie.

A great monster came after him. "You ugly son of a bitch!" Anthony cried. "You want him? You're going to have to get through me first!" It did get through him first. It threw him right across the room then moved on to Jackie. _Save yourself kid!_

Anthony tried to tell Jackie about the Darkness. "Hey kid you know that thing about the light int the darkness? Do you know what that means?" He was about to tell the kid a great secret about the Darkness that would weaken it; mean the end of it's reign. _Do not interfere! _The Darkness shrieked and Anthony fell through the floor; swallowed into a darkness he'd never known before in his life. But the realization came over him in a moment. _I'm free._

A weight felt like it was lifted from his shoulders. _No more pain, no more darkness. Goodbye.  
_

He wanted to help Jackie further, but he could not, not where he was now. He could not roam out of this place freely, not that it matters now. He's not going anywhere. He doesn't want to. For the first time ever he had a sense of calm, a sense of peace. _Maybe I have been forgiven._

_Anthony _A voice called him._  
_

_"What? Who's that?" _He answered.

_You don't know me you bloody fool? _The voice answered impatiently.

_Corporal Greenwood? Christ Almighty Greenwood wherever have you been?_

_Here._

_Where's here exactly?_

_I can't be sure, but it's paradise compared to where we once were._

Things suddenly got brighter for him. He smiled broadly. _Yes it sure is paradise._

* * *

**Note:** I know the game doesn't specify where Anthony went after he fell down that hole, but I like to imagine his soul passed on to something better.

Also, the character Corporal Greenwood is one of the soldiers you encounter when the Darkness sends you to the trenches.


End file.
